There are many dangers to viewing adult websites; it can damage your most important relationship. In the highly publicized divorce case between Christy Brinkley and her now ex-husband Peter Cook, it was revealed that he spent thousands of dollars on adult websites among his extra-marital expenses. In the new movie, “Fire Proof”, the main actor struggles with adult websites. David Duchovny, X-Files TV show main actor, recently admitted to checking himself into an in-patient treatment facility for sexual addictions. The Internet has enabled more people to access pornography in the privacy of their home. Along with that fact, is the realization that it is destroying more committed relationships than ever.
1) IT WILL LOWER YOUR COMMITMENT TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
In the book, Back From Betrayal, author Jennifer P. Schneider, M.D., asserts that for some dissatisfied people, fantasizing about affairs is the first step to a real affair. She suggests that the fantasizing process occupies such a large part of a person’s inner world that little energy is left for the marital relationship.
2) IT WILL LOWER YOUR INTEREST IN YOUR SPOUSE.
Repeated exposure to adult websites results in a decreased satisfaction with one’s sexual partner, a decrease in the valuation of faithfulness and a major increase in the importance of sex without attachment.
3) IT PROVOKES POWERFUL EMOTIONS TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE.
It robs the relationship of intimacy, trust, emotional, and physical passion. The discovery of pornography in their husband’s life is equal to infidelity for some women.
4) IT IS PROGRESSIVELY ADDICTIVE.
According to the book, Media, Children, and the Family: Social Scientific, Psychodynamic, and Clinical Perspectives, research has shown that sexual arousal and accompanying excitedness diminish with repeated exposure to sexual scenes. As exposure to commonly shown sexual activities leaves consumers relatively unexcited, they are likely to seek out pornography that features novel and potentially less common sexual acts.
5) IT PROMISES WHAT IT WILL NEVER DELIVER – TRUE EMOTIONAL INTIMACY IN YOUR LIFE.
In his book False Intimacy, Dr. Harry Schaumburg explains how pornography becomes a substitute for real relationships. “For the sex addict, each external sexual act is a desperate attempt to be involved in a relationship without being truly known and having to take the risks involved in developing real intimacy.”
Schaumburg, H. W., (1997). False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction.
Schneider, J. P., (2001). Back from Betrayal.
Zillman D., Bryant J., & Huston A.C., (1993). Media, Children, and the Family: Social Scientific, Psychodynamic, and Clinical Perspectives.
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About the Author: Relationship Expert, Janie Lacy, LMHC, NCC offers expert advice to Local and National TV News & Relationship Websites and provides phone or face-to-face counseling in the Orlando area. Janie has a relational approach and a unique ability to connect with individuals. Drawing upon her broad range of experience in private practice, not-for-profit organizations, hospitality and the medical industry, she has helped countless people in many arenas of life. She offers keen insight on all aspects of relationships – family, marriage, parenting, dating, and personal growth. Visit her webpage to learn more about her and for more counseling and coaching resources.