What is Codependency?
Codependency, simply put, is an unhealthy relationship between two people. This relationship can be between family members, friends, coworkers or even two lovers. As you can take from the word Codependency, it has to do with being heavily dependent on someone, in that case, on the other person in your relationship.
Due to this need for dependency on the other person, you are more likely to focus on that person’s needs first before thinking of your own, you are more willing to comply to do things that you may not want to do because you are afraid of upsetting your partner or even losing them. You may also assert too much control over your partner because of a lack of trust in them. Ultimately, that control will have the exact opposite effect though and draw them further and further away from you.
What Makes Someone Codependent?
Codependency is usually a result from childhood experience. It can be growing up in a household of violence, alcoholics, unloving parents, emotional and/or physical abuse.
Those negative childhood experiences may result in low self-esteem and no sense of worth of oneself. If you are not confident in yourself and do not see your worth you are more likely to put up with things that are not good for you. Since you are used to being mistreated during your childhood years you may think it as normal to be in such an unhealthy relationship because that is all you know.
Why Seek Help?
If you think you might be in an unhealthy relationship or you are experiencing some of the things previously discussed, I would encourage you to seek help. Being in a codependent relationship will not have a positive outcome. It can emotionally tear you down and even make you physically sick. If you are codependent and are not receiving the love you are seeking from your partner and are not nourishing yourself in that relationship you will go through tremendous hardship. How can you take care of another person if you are not even able to take care of yourself? You need to learn to love yourself and accept yourself the way you are. You were uniquely created this way and are special the way you are.
How Can You Help A Friend, Spouse or Coworker?
If you know someone that is in an unhealthy relationship and is portraying signs of codependency it is important to make them aware of their situation. They need to be able to step out of their view of the relationship and get a different perspective on what is truly going on. They need someone that is going to be honest with them and hold them accountable for their actions rather than pitying them for their problem. This is a process that may take a while and requires a lot of patience and love. That is why I would encourage you to seek out help for your friend, spouse, coworker, or partner to have someone that will sit with them and be able to guide them step by step toward a healthy self and eventually a healthy relationship.
What Can You Expect From Therapy?
Therapy will enable you to look at yourself in a different way. Whether you are struggling with low self-esteem, distrust, controlling behavior or denial, therapy will help you find the root of your problem and guide you on your journey to self-improvement.