One thing most people never dream of is their partner betraying them!  Yet, unfortunately, it seems to be the popular topic of conversations these days because of celebrities and their relationships.  Most recently in the spotlight, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, who have been married for 6 years now, might be separating due to Kutcher’s apparent unfaithfulness.  How do you handle unfaithfulness in your relationship?


  Let’s take a look at some tips that might be helpful to you.

1)  Allow Yourself To Grieve

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being upset about what happened.  It would be worse if you were to suppress your feelings and act like it didn’t bother you at all.  Take the time that you need to grieve.  It is ok to cry and let your feelings out.

2)  Seek Support

Talk to a close friend of yours, a close family member, or even seek out a counselor.  This gives you an opportunity to share your experience while being in a safe environment.  Talking to someone else will also enable you to look at the situation from a different perspective, hearing what your friend, family member or counselor has to say about your situation.

3)  Forgive

Forgiving your partner does not mean you have to get back together with him/her. Forgiving simply means that you acknowledge that we all make poor choices, that have consequences. Forgiving is an integral part of being able to eventually move on from what has happened in your relationship.

4)  Reflect

Take some time to reflect on what has happened.  This is not to find the one to blame but simply to take a moment and think of what went wrong in the relationship.  Everything we go through should be an aid to a learning experience.  Think about some things that both of you could have done better.  Maybe there are some characteristics of your partner that you were not fully aware of that lead to his/her behavior.  Maybe there is something that you can work on yourself?  No relationship is perfect, nor will it ever be, but it needs constant work, which means you need to work on yourself, your partner needs to work on himself/herself and you both need to work together if you care about the well being of your relationship.

5)  Keep Active

Keep doing what you have been doing.  Whether it is your job, studies, or other activities, it is important to not let the betrayal take over your life.  Yes it happened and it hurt but you also need to know that you will be ok, you are strong and you will eventually get through this.

Being betrayed by your partner is anything but easy to handle.  It hurts, causes confusion and leaves you with a broken heart. There is hope though.  It is not the end of the world, as with anything else that gets thrown at us in life, you can overcome this as well.  Grieve, talk with someone, forgive, reflect and keep active!

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About the Author:  Relationship Expert, Janie Lacy, MS offers expert advice to Local and National TV News, Relationship Websites and provides phone or face-to-face counseling in the Orlando area.  Janie has a relational approach and a unique ability to connect with individuals.  Drawing upon her broad range of experience in private practice, not-for-profit organizations, hospitality and the medical industry, she has helped countless people in many arenas of life.  She offers keen insight on all aspects of relationships – family, marriage, parenting, dating, and personal growth.  Connect with Janie on Facebook or Twitter


About the Author:

Janie is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist in Orlando, Florida. Janie believes that everyone has a story. These stories give meaning and purpose to the chaos of everyday life. Janie believes that people can get stuck in their life with unhealthy coping mechanisms, unhealed past traumas or wounds deep inside themselves. Janie invites people to take a journey with her to discover their own life story by helping them make connections with their behavior and needs, recognize the patterns, as well as why they have developed those patterns. Janie's passion is to walk alongside individuals as they face past wounds to create healing in their lives.

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