Different Schedules, snoring, restless leg syndrome or the kids? More and more couples are saying good night before going their separate ways to different bedrooms!  Is this new trend healthy for couples?  When couples make a decision to sleep in separate bedrooms, they most likely did not come to that choice lightly.  However, if couples are not being intentional about keeping their relationship alive, there can be some hazards to the relationship as a result of sleeping separately.

Below are three dangers in couples that sleep apart:

1)   Disconnection: Sleeping apart can contribute to distance in the relationship.  It can become easier to avoid each other in situations where connection and physical contact can benefit in bringing and keeping the couple closer together.

2)   Less Intimacy: Bedtime isn’t just for sleeping! This can be a time of cuddling or closeness that can lead to a time of physical intimacy for the couple.  If you are sleeping apart, sex will have to be intentional and perhaps scheduled to make sure this part of the relationship does not get neglected.

3)   Communication: When the day comes to an end, this is a great time for couples to turn work and other responsibilities off and have uninterrupted time to connect and check-in with each other.  This does not have to be a long drawn out conversation before bed, but rather a quality time to connect (try to keep it under 20 minutes nightly).

When individuals are rested, they are more likely to be focused and less moody with those around them.  Therefore, if you are sleeping apart due to medical reasons, different work schedules, etc. if the problems cannot be fixed, then it is imperative that you are intentional about staying connected emotionally and physically.  Otherwise, you can find yourself living like roommates!

About the Author: Relationship Expert, Janie Lacy, LMHC, NCC offers expert advice to Local and National TV News & Relationship Websites and provides phone or face-to-face counseling in the Orlando area. Janie has a relational approach and a unique ability to connect with individuals.  Drawing upon her broad range of experience in private practice, not-for-profit organizations, hospitality and the medical industry, she has helped countless people in many arenas of life.  She offers keen insight on all aspects of relationships – family, marriage, parenting, dating, and personal growth.


About the Author:

Janie is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist in Orlando, Florida. Janie believes that everyone has a story. These stories give meaning and purpose to the chaos of everyday life. Janie believes that people can get stuck in their life with unhealthy coping mechanisms, unhealed past traumas or wounds deep inside themselves. Janie invites people to take a journey with her to discover their own life story by helping them make connections with their behavior and needs, recognize the patterns, as well as why they have developed those patterns. Janie's passion is to walk alongside individuals as they face past wounds to create healing in their lives.

One Comment

  1. Jodes August 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm - Reply

    I found this very understanding because me and my boyfriend been together 6years and 2 kids and its been a year since it was out of the blue we just ended up sleep apart. I’m not sure if its normal but I’m losing connection with him and just feel we have no interest with eachother. I don’t know what to do so we can work it out. Some good tips on that will be accepted. Thanks!

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